This is a topic that’s been in some discussion lately. Cliff at The Pervocracy posted about it recently (and has been doing so for most of his/her blogging career); it’s come up in my social circles.
There’s some issues, as always. Allow me to present them in a somewhat-organized fashion.
“But it’s MISOGYNISTIC to ALLOW MEN to BEAT WOMEN!”
If we were discussing an event that was not pre-negotiated, involving no consent, this would be completely true. But it isn’t. You see, kink is ALL ABOUT consent, because kink without consent is rape and abuse. If a sub has not given the green light, the dom doesn’t play. End of story.
Obviously there are some shady people out there who will do so anyway, but they are not representative of kinksters at large. They are rapists. Plain and simple. Their connections with the “scene” have nothing to do with it. Considering all kinky people rapists because of a few kinky rapists is like considering all black people rapists because of a few black rapists.
“But it’s reinforcing sexist gender roles!”
Actually, no. You’re reinforcing sexist gender roles by suggesting that said gender roles actually have anything to do with it. I do not like to be hit and talked down to and tied up because I am a woman. I like to be hit and talked down to and tied up because I like to be hit and talked down to and tied up. There are lots of men who like these things, too. Suggesting that these men are less manly for these preferences is…..you guessed it! Sexist!
“But it’s demeaning to women!”
Perhaps you missed the memo, but….humiliation is sort of the fun part for most kinksters. Really. It’s not really demeaning, because, well, it’s exactly what’s wanted. You want to talk about “demeaning to women”? How about the all the people telling kinky women that their interests are disgusting and anti-feminist? Or that they’re only pretending to be kinky for men? I’d say it’s DAMNED demeaning to tell me that something I greatly enjoy is just a show for me. Sorry, buddy, I don’t operate that way.
Feminism means allowing women sexual freedom and the ethical pursuit of pleasure. Denying my right to seek the pleasure I get from BDSM is misogynistic, so maybe it’s time to take some time to think about your opinions on the matter.